A Question of manners

7th of Patchwall 381ONT

“Hello, Anya Wayforger? My name is Evelynn Debuer, I am the chief etiquette officer to the Quim. It is my understanding that you will be working closely with My Quim and thus I have taken it upon myself to instruct you in the ways of formal etiquette to assure your success in your new position. With you permission I will arrange three hours every Thursday for us to continue your education in formal etiquette, not only related to Eiradun, but other states and countries you may end up meeting while in the service of Her Quim.” The small pert women took out her first scroll and delved directly to the business at hand

“Let us begin with the basics shall we?

- Stand when the Quim enters the room. You may bow, but that is not required. A woman may do a small bow from the neck, and if a man bows he should bow from the waist. If she extends her hand to you, a firm handshake is required, a light or dainty touch is considered offensive.

- One must address the Quim as “My Quim.” If you wish to be more formal the initial greeting is “Your Exalted Quim” and follows with “My Quim” or “Quim.” Never speak to her by name even if requested.

- At no time is anyone to step on the Quims shadow, to do so is a terrible insult, and may result in your being discharged from My Quims service

- The Quim will always walk first followed then by females with the male members walking behind them. Never presume to walk ahead of the Quim, less you are trained and acting as her security detail.

- Casting magic of any kind (or using magical items) before the Quim without permission is considered an act of hostility.

- Pick appropriate topics of conversation. Don’t discuss private issues or something you’ve read in the tabloids, don’t presume to know the Quim personally.

- Do not touch the Quim. There is no-touch rule observed by both sides during these meetings, except for when the Quim offers her hand.

- Learn from mistakes in the past. Don’t say “pleased to meet you.” That’s thought to be redundant because everyone is pleased to meet the Quim. It is also considered bad manners to chew gum around the Quim, smoke in front of the Quim, put an arm around My Quim, kiss My Quims hand, or continue to eat once My Quim has stopped.

- The Quims Etiquette’s dress code is generally conservative and practical, though it is acceptable for women to wear dresses, pragmatic clothing is preferred. The Quim has stated publicly many times that “I do not wish anyone to be put to unnecessary expense by buying special clothes, hats or gloves.” That being said one should show up with clean tidy clothing of high craftsmanship or better.

- One never turn their back on the Quim, this is a grave insult

- It is really most vexing to see people who do not know what to do when the National Anthem is played at an event. It is most correct to stand (not to do so is insulting) and place one’s hands by one’s side. It is expected that everyone present will sing. One should learn all the words prior to attending any events with the Quim. The lyrics are as follows:

Sing me a song of a lass that is gone,
Say, could that lass be I?
Merry of soul she sailed on a day
Over the sea to Skye.

Billow and breeze, islands and seas,
Mountains of rain and sun,
All that was good, all that was fair,
All that was me was gone.

Sing me a song of a lass that is gone,
Say, could that lass be I?
Merry of soul she sailed on a day
Over the sea to Skye.

- One of the most complicated aspects of court life is precedence. The Quims precedence is absolute, and My Quim can determine where on the scale everyone else falls. Officially The Quim is at the top of the scale followed by The High Dentoni, then the Prannie of Crasmere, her family, The Prannie of Langdale, her family, the Dentoni, their families, Judges and magistrates, attendants of note. These tables of precedence are often changed to suit the occasion; however, on a formal state occasion they are strictly adhered to and are designed to ensure that everyone knows his or her place in the Eiradun pecking order.

- A vital point to remember is that Eiradun does not enjoy a monopoly on sovereignty or indeed on the points of etiquette surrounding these ancient thrones. In general, foreign royals are treated in a similar manner to those of the Quim and her nobles. Kings and Queens are afforded “Your Majesty” and a deep and respectful bow. The Empress of the Dwarves is “Your Imperial Majesty,” while her family members are Imperial Highnesses. Serene Highnesses, Grand Ducal ones, Thanes and the occasional plain “Highness” do exist, and careful note should be made to ensure that no one is offended. As a general rule, the children of Kings and Queens enjoy the status of Royal Highness; this is also true of the Speaker of the Sun of Highport. A Serene Highness is from a reigning Princely House such as Parven or Dwarf Gate Families, while an Imperial Highness is from the Dwarven Empire as a whole.

- When one finds the need to communicate by mail with the Quim; there are many points of protocol to remember. Letters should of course be concise and polite. They should (by tradition) be addressed to a member of the Household (e.g., Private Secretary, Lady-in-Waiting, or Equerry); the royal recipient should be referred to as Her Quim. However, it is in very exceptional circumstances, such as a royal engagement, marriage, death or other very personal occasion, permissible to write directly to the royal personage. In this case an exact and formal protocol exists. Letters to The Quim should begin either “Madam” or “May it please My Quim” and end with the sign-off “I have the honour to remain, My Quims most humble and obedient servant.” “You” should be substituted with “My Quim” and “your” with “My Quims.” Address the envelope to Quim Alana of Eiradun, and wait for your reply, which more than likely will come from a private secretary).
Well, I think that just about covers the basics, if you work hard and follow these very simple guidelines you should be ok to work with the Quim. As stated I will continue to instruct you as best I can in the coming months to expand upon these very simple concepts, do you have any questions Anya?”

A Plan set in motion

The 7th of Patchwall 381ONT

“My Quim this is the forth incident to occur in a fortnight, Please allow me to go and look into this, there is something vile going on, I can feel it” Talia spoke with passion trying to invoke some response, some feeling from those in the room. The Chamber of the circle was an imposing place, the Quim sat upon a slightly raised dais, her seat itself had no back, but two large golden lionesses were carved into either side. To her right sat the High Dentoni, she sat in a simple white high backed chair with no arms, to the Quims left in ornate wooden chairs engraved with symbols of their respective towns were the Pranies of Crasmere and Langdale. The remainder of the Dentoni and advisers sat in unadorned wooden chairs. The floor was a bronzed marble with white runic scrawling encased into it. It was well known that hundreds of spells that demanded truth, privacy and protection raced through the runic weave of the floor and bound the circle together.

“Again my Quim, I must object to the presence of the Dame Talia, she holds neither rank nor status as expert, these meetings are closed to her” said High Dentoni Galieene. Talia resisted the urge to argue. The Quim raised a hand slightly as she spoke

“I have asked Talia’s presence this day, as I ask the circle for patience with her lack of understanding, I am wrestling with a decision and I would hear of Talia before making a final conclusion” the High Dentoni nodded to the Quim her understanding. The Quim spoke once more “Prannie Alyss, these disappearances are shocking, what is Crasmere currently doing about it”

The Prannie looked around the circle before responding. “My Quim, the Township of Crasmere is doing everything possible, I have four Dentoni that are looking into this matter, though no obvious conflict between the victims and members of town have arisen, nor has any commonalities between the victims…”

“No commonalities?” Talia shouted interrupting the Prannie “Four baby girls, all born in the month of Coldeven go missing inside of two weeks and you say there is no commonalities”

“Talia, you are a guest in this chamber, you will hold your tongue until called upon or I will have you silenced” The High Dentoni scolded. The Quim nodded, agreeing the rebuke was well placed; thought took some force from it with her next question

“How do you explain this discrepancy in facts Prannie?” the Pranie quickly rolled her scroll back and forth rereading information

“I cannot verify this information my Quim, it is not in my reports, Dame Talia, how is that you have come by this information?”

“I sent messenger yesterday morning to Crasemere asking the Dentoni Rachel to ask some more pointed questions, this information was given; and comes back to my point my Quim, the Dentoni are excellent negotiators and peace officers, and well suited for fending of bandits and dispensing the Quims justice, but they are not trained to investigate occurrences like this, please allow me to head to Crasemere and look into it more fully. We need to close of Crasemere, keeping people form coming or going while we conduct a proper search and investigation into these issues.”

“My Quim, If I may interject” said Dentoni Alison, the Quim gave her a nod “We cannot close Crasemere, the Clan Morgrain Pilgrimage has begun for the THING, over the next couple weeks we will have hundreds of dwarves, not just from Eiradun but further north heading back to the Strong Hold, we cannot close Crasemere, aside from the economic folly that would be, we would also be delaying many dwarves by days as they had to work around, or if they were ill supplied force them to turn back and come to Eiradon… this will not be taken well, and will cause many more problems”

“My Quim, surely the lives of these four babes as well as that of their family’s out ways inconveniencing a few hundred dwarves?” Talia interjected, but the quim shook her head

“No Talia, what of the families who sorely need the coin these dwarves will spend, or the taxes that will be gained to extend the hospice… what of the word that these dwarves carry to a new Thane, that we are ill prepared and cannot take care of our own? I will not order Crasemere closed without more information…”

“My Quim, Please…” Talia began but the Quims purple eyed hard stare silenced her

“I will however send you and a small team to Crasmere to investigate further, you will report Dentoni Rachel upon arrival, and keep the Prannie will appraised of what is going on down there”

“Thank you my Quim, but a team may slow me down, I can work faster alone and…”
“A team you will bring, if this is another terrorist plot, I have a team I am bringing together that specialises in just that, if it happens to be something else, then a larger group will receive valuable experience”

“I understand and obey my Quim” Talia said, resigning herself to having even more useless tag alongs and already trying to work out how she could legitimately ditch them once she arrived in Crasmere.

1st Diary Entry of Gemma the Time Travelling Gunslinger

Diary entry – by Gemma the time travelling gunslinger (yah that’s right, I’m a time traveler now)

Ok, I was at the BIG EVENT. The Dwarven Stronghold was being moved magically back to its original location. I thought its current location was fine, why was all that fancy pants magic needed to send it back? So I was there but I was really bored and waiting for it to be over. We saw some weird lightning or something come down towards us. It hit me and a few other people. I blacked out and woke up with an Honalayan named Bronwyn, Anya one of my fellow Dactyls, a Waylan named Meagre and Sgt Clyde a dwarf.

We didn’t know what was going on or really where we were. But we are soldiers and we needed to complete our mission which in this case was to find the nearest settlement and figure out what was going on. I foraged successfully for food. Good to know the lessons from my childhood were put to good use.

We were found by a female Knight riding a horse. She identified herself as Dentoni Caroline Hale. She told us that we were in the future, 380 years to be precise! Damn magic! WTF! So she brought us to Eridon on a FREAKIN TRAIN and met with General Alanna if you can believe it. Well, she is now the Quim, I guess she is the ruler of Eridon? Wow. That is so cool.

She told us a lot of things, a lot of which was boring, but I do remember that King Francis died 100 years ago, Queen Anabella was in charge. And that they sent regular sorties to hell to kill devils! That is so cool. Bringing the fight to them. We asked what had happened to Chistle’s Point and she said they were run by some kind of Conclave and that is was a religious city now. Eridon has 7000 people, Rehume has 12000, Don Ton has 30 000 . Eridun has libraries, schools, Don Toni. Women seem to have an equal role here, that is my kind of place for sure.

Chistle’s Point, well, she didn’t seem to know as much about them. She did show us this magical map, ok, the magical map/projection was cool. That seems useful. Chistle’s Point looks so different! All the industry/residential areas have disappeared. It seems to be divided into different religious districts. It looks kind of like they had back in those Honalayan cities from back in the distant past. Chistle’s Point is neutral territory. They have a gathering house where disputes can be settled, grievances can be aired between churches, Conclave made up of representatives from the different churches, mediate issues, handle fostering through Chistles Point and go to broker peace.

Well, Alanna, she put us up at the Princess’ Pea, a very swanky hotel. It was the nicest place I have ever slept in my entire life. I think I was still in a bit of shock at what had happened and thought I should just enjoy myself, distract myself from the uncertainty of what lay ahead. Who knows when will happen. The communication device gave me the option for “companionship” and boy did companionship come alright. I had a really really good time that night.

I wanted to go to the library to get information but this weird guy called out to me from a dark alley. Really, who does that? Weird, creepy guys, that’s who. He warned me to stay away from the area. I did, and there was some kind of terrorist attack or something. Why would this guy warn mer? He died ask her where she was from. She guessed that Chistle’s Point was the right answer.

Alanna asked them to be loyal soldiers once again. She told them that there were terrorists, Cthuhlu cultists, that wished to disrupt the city. They want to create discord and terror. She wants us to find them, find out who they are, where they can catch them. She wants us to record their plans/attacks, and alert them to their plots.

She said she could find us jobs and places to stay if we helped her. She is my General. I am duty bound to assist her. If there are law breakers around here, I will help her find them and ensure they are held accountable.

I guess this group gave a secret message or something to Bronwyn and them as well. Cloak and dagger stuff for sure.

I need to find out what happened to my parents and my sister. General, I mean Quim Alanna, said she would make sure messages were sent to them to find out what happened to our families. Hopefully we will get information soon. I wonder what they think happened to me. They must think I am dead. I need to find out if Hilda, Johan and Greta are still alive. I need to let them know I am okay. She said over 150 people “died” that day. Does that mean there are others that have come forward in time?

They have such advanced firearms here. I saw some alchemical cartridges and all kinds of other stuff. I need to find a local gunsmith and get a job there or something. I need to learn how firearms have changed and how I can get my hands on those new pistols I saw Caroline holding. Maybe I will participate in those historical re-enactments. I could be a historical firearms consultant or something. I need to find a job with a gunsmith. I am very excited and fascinated with the new technology that I am seeing in the future. I am very interested in how far firearms have progressed. Maybe I can find a gunsmith and apprentice there to learn the trade as well as improve my marksmanship.

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